Sometime it's hard

Sometime it's hard having a baby in the NICU. I love her so much now that she is here, but it is so hard to leave her. Every time I see her I don't want to leave her. Then when I am not with her I feel guilty. I know that I cannot be with her all the time right now, but it just hurts. Some days are better than others, but today is not one of those days. I am so glad that she is as healthy as she is, but she is just so tiny. Weighing in at only 2 lbs 8 oz when she was born she still has some growing to do. Sometimes I question myself as to what I did wrong, or what I could have done differently. I wish I knew what made me go into labor that day. I wish I knew why she was so ready to be here. I wish my baby was home with me right now.

I know she is doing very well for as early as she is. I have to keep reminding myself of that. And I understand that she cannot come home until she is ready, I do understand that. And I know that someone else is watching over her to make sure of that. But it still hurts...
I want my baby home with me.